Insecurity

Some people just really don't get it. I mean seriously, pointing out someone's flaws or something about them that someone else has or does better doesn't do much good. And people wonder why I am so insecure with myself. You can try to apologize by saying I have the nicest body out of all of y'all, but that doesn't make up for all the flaws that get pointed out all the fucking time. Why is it when you guys made the perfect body, nothing of mine was included? Yeah. Because I have nothing to offer. This is silly, but I used to think my butt was my best physical feature, or at least the one thing on my body that I myself was content with, but no, of course two of my other friends have a better one than me. I just want to be better than someone else in something.. Fuck. And my mom pointing out that she was 100 pounds when she was my age or that I should get nose surgery doesn't help with my confidence either. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. I never try to point out anyone's flaws, and try to see the best in people, so I don't understand why others can't do the same for me. Fuck this.

Monday August 15th, 2011

So today is the last week of band camp! It's making me sad, because this is my last band camp. It's also not a full day long like the past two weeks. This week it's going to be from 5:00pm-9:00pm. I'm hoping we're just learning drill because Ms. Christy has been working our butts off especially with "friendship circle".

Oh, our show this year is called Spaces. The music sounds amazing and we're going to have dubstep incorporated into it. Our outfits are really cool looking too! We finally get to have dresses and not stupid onesies! I hope this season is a good season even though there won't be UIL like last year.

Today, before practice, I was supposed to hang out with Vannessa, Preethi, and Sheldon. But Sheldon got in trouble with his mom. >.< I guess I won't see him untill school starts, OH WELL. Oh crap, school is next week. I have so much to do. I really need to study for the SAT. I got a 1920 last time but need to raise my grade so I can get more scholarship opportunities.

What else...

I can't think of anything really that awesome to talk about. I am bored. I think I'm going to go clean my room now or read Lord of the Flies. So, ADIOS! :)

Monday June 13th, 2011

I suck at blogging. Well, it's summer..and I'm at home bored. I really need to get a life haha.

Monday March 21, 2011

So Spring Break just ended and we're back at school. -____-

My spring break was pretty chill. I went to Houston to visit my mom and I also went to Merida, Mexico. If you don't know where that is it's in the Yucatan. If you don't know where that's at, there's always google. I had a lot of fun there and there was a lot of things that happened. My mom developed a nickname for me: "Chita". It's short for beechita, which is for bitch, cuz apparently I'm bitchy alot. But it's because my brothers are super annoying sometimes. Anyways, I have a research paper due next week and the rough draft is due this Thursday or Friday. Sucks. I really don't want to do it because the prompt is really hard. We have to discuss two different criticisms found within The Great Gatsby and pick which ones has the bigger impact in the book. Umm..I have a competition this Saturday. <3 It's our 2nd to last one :O The season has gone by so quickly it's crazy. But I'm fine with that because it means summer is coming and then it'll be marching band season again<333. I'm cleaning my room now because my brother from California is coming down for a conference downtown and he's going to be staying with us. I have to clean now because with SAT class, winterguard, the research paper, and all this other homework I have, andddd the cardboard boat we have to build for physics (which is presenting a problem since its hard to schedule an appropriate time for everyone), I'll have absolutely nooo time. Yeah, I am bored. Well, adios. :)

Oh & p.s. If you haven't heard the song Friday by Rebecca Black, don't go listen to it. It's a HORRIBLE, yet catchy, song. It's been stuck in my head for three days straight and it's been torture.

Saturday March 5, 2011

So I haven't been keeping up with my intentions of blogging daily. I guess my life is too busy to do that.

I had a lot happen this past week. My mom proposed to me a new choice. She had offered me the choice between still going on the trip around Europe this summer, or a car. The trip to Europe would include traveling to Madrid, London, Rome, Amsterdam, Munich, and Paris. I had got promised this trip months ago because I had desperately wanted to go with my school's choir this summer that would be traveling to some of those places. My mom thought it would be better that instead we go together because it would be more fun if it was just the two of us. But now she's offering the car. A new Volkswagen Jetti 2011. Sounds nice. Everyone here were I live that's my age has a car. And most got them as soon as they turned 16. Not having a car has made life difficult especially when i want to go somewhere but can't because my dad a) can't take me or b) doesn't want to take me. I am leaning towards the car though. I can always go to Europe later in life, right?

Well on other news, today, I woke up early to go to the Princeton Review's free practice SAT test. I was supposed to have winterguard competition today, but Brockman had pulled us out. There were too many guards going and we weren't going to do well anyways because we had many changes to our show. And since we weren't going to have our competition, he wanted to have practice from 9 am til noon so we would have the rest of the day off. But on last Thursday night's practice, everyone aws so stressed out he decided to cancel practice all together because he said we needed a break from winterguard. He said we haven't really had a Saturday off from colorguard since January 1st (crazy, eh?) and we needed a break otherwise we will end up hating the show and not the season will continue to be frustrating. Well yeah, therefore I went to take the practice test instead of having practice. It was the first time I actually took the full lengthed test and I think I did alright. I had started spacing out during the middle because the passages we were having to read were about the law of conservation and black holes. They're interesting topics, but I cannot do rhetorical and analytical questions about them.

After the test, I was supposed to go to my SAT class, making it 7 hours nonstop SAT bs, but I convinced my dad that I would rather go to Sunday's class(same class as mine, just different day).

I really have to go clean my room, read 4 chapters out of my history textbook, and write a mini essay for history homework..but right now, I am currently watching Bug's Life. I think I will get started on my to-do list afterwards. haha. I'll try to blog tomorrow or later tonight! Pinky promise! <3

Oh! and p.s., you should go listen to this song:

I didn't like this song at first but after listening to it more than once it grew on me :P Now I can't get enough of it(:

Thursday February 10th 2011

Gosh, I suck at keeping up with this. I am going to try harder to post more often. Well today's the best day of the week. Want to know why? It's Thursday. Thigh Rub Thursday ;) haha! Instead of telling you of my day, I'll just talk about the past few weeks. Wellll January 29th, we had our first winter guard competition. We got 5th place; which isn't bad for the first one. We didn't even have our uniforms,flags, or our full show ready yet! Our outfits are going to be sexy haha. We are superheroes/villains and our outfits are like the moms outfit in the incredibles sort of. I'll post a picture when I get mine on Saturday (:. So that weekend, because I missed my saturday SAT class for the competition, I had to go on Sunday. It wasn't that bad since I had 2 of my friends in that class. Although we aren't supposed to talk in that class, I kept whispering and got dirty looks from the teacher. Then later on, we were doing practice math problems and I had got a difficult problem right and said "HA!" really quietly to my friend. The teacher had heard and I got in trouble lol. Yeah, I'm a bad kid. Ummm the weather all of a sudden was really nice and in the 80s for a few days. But then we got a cold front and the temperature went down to the teens. Texas is too bipolar in the weather. But I don't mind that because on February 4th, 2011, we got our first snow day ever! My friends and I promptly decided to make two pretty kickass snowmen. We only had about 1/10 inch of snow on the ground to work with but we shovelled enough up to make reasonable sized ones. I don't really remember anything that happened these past few days. Umm Devin turned me down today when I asked him to be my valentine today. It made me very very sad haha. Another thing that happened today was there almost was a WW3 in choir. Mrs. Cowart was at TMEA so 2 students were in charge and they sucked at getting our songs at a good tempo so we kept messing up and this led to arguments and yelling. It was scary. Haha I'm scared for tomorrow because our teacher won't be back yet. Oohhh I just remembered I have the pacer tomorrow. Yay. P.s. Don't play words with friends before going go bed; you start to dream of the scrabble board and the words you can spell. Let me just tell you its a horrible experience and I got pretty much no sleep last night.

Friday January 21, 2011

This song describes how I feel so well:

So yesterday, I had a bad thought that something horrible was going to happen between my boyfriend and I because we haven't been talking as much lately and haven't seen each other for idk like a month. Well yeah, my thought came true cuz that night he broke up with me saying he's been busy and he's only get busier. Ugh. And another reason was cuz he couldn't see me. Okay, why couldn't you talked to my dad earlier if it was too late now and it was the "bottom line" and "its just too late at this point"? If you really cared you would have done it asap. But apparently I don't mean as much as I thought I did to him. I hate how everything can just go bad in a few moments. I thought he was perfect and I don't think I will ever stop loving him but ugh. I don't know. I know life will get better later on and this is just a hurdle I have to get over..but it still hurts. I just sent him things for his band I had made and I really hope he likes them although he probably won't tell me. Anyways, today was boring except for history when Maile and I gambled on tabacco on our "farm" and ended up with only $700 dollars at the end. Oh well, it was fun.